[020] Emotional and mentally broke down

Have you ever been in an intense emotional moments that stress you out until your eyes get dry up and tears fall down unconsciously?
I have been through that tough moment and i just don't know how to handle all this stressful moments in one shot.
All those miscalculation lead you to the entrance of the dooms day.
But i have to be grateful that people willing to tolerate and help me to temporary to solve the problems and doesn't blame me for my mistake.
After that tough moments, i getting exhausted very easily and i feel like falling sick but yet not feeling sick.
It feel like my body getting weaker and so does my mind.
What have happen to me?

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019. Dig up the ancient room

Refer back to the previous post . It seems that this beautiful blog have been abandoned for like 1year +++
Should i revive it or not?

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018. GST and i really really need to start saving money

Since GST started and yea my saving plan this year was like half hanging.  Last weekend spend RM100++ on clothing, food and junk. I really need to start control my spending on junk.  I gonna start my cooking plan now to save more money =_=
Finally have bought myself a sleeping coach train to SG from KL. Hopefully is a pleasant ride.
Now still planning to go Boracay Island this Sept. But aint sure whether really can make it or not :)

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017. I'm back

It been a long time since i wrote another blog post. sometimes i was thinking that i need a personal place to dump all my worries, complaint, annoyance instead of posting it at facebook. Although sometimes i purposely post there so that the peson who make me unhappy will know what he/she did to make me so unhappy. But sometimes i think i need to continue back my online journal/daily post here. maybe not daily but maybe a few times a week. anyways was thinking how to revamp the blog, should i keep it fancy or keep it simple? Anyway, Happy April 2015 to me...

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016. Frustration that doesn't help anything, I WILL SURVIVE!!!

Seriously fed up with the people here.

Or should I say those who work at the particular workplace for a long time.

I know that you are a senior but don’t mean that you can be rude to the junior staff.

Sometimes I was thinking this kind of idiotic people doesn't think on the behalf of other people.

When it was not happen on you, you can be as sarcastic as you can.

Critics here and there, scold at people here and there.

But did they reflect on themselves where they did the same kind of mistake also?

Fool only can see other people weakness but not theirs.

We just wait and see when some major problems happen to them.

I will just sit there and busy with my own stuff, go settle it yourself or die yourself.

Is not that I’m cruel or not tolerate.

I only know the rules of “helping each other and backup each other”.

You help me, I help you.

You step on me and I will step on you back twice the humiliation and damage you have done to me.

People say if you feel unhappy with the work environment there, you better quit.

For me the work here is OK, just that there a few devils here make trouble to other people life.

I gonna prove to them that I can survive here.

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015.Just be yourself.

Life always full with enemies. Be it friends, colleagues, people from the same religion background. People have their own way of thinking. And people like to think from the negative side and find argument point from your statement. Well it seems this is what they like to do when they are too bored I think. ooo...wait why must I care so much on these "no point" argument.
I have my own point of view, if you don't like we just leave it,  instead or argue with me while the victim of the issue is not even me. I just give my opinion but people just like to critic what other people do.  That was just too tiring especially to deal with these kind of people...
I have already tired of dealing with problematic people in my worklife But now my personal life people also want to interfere =_=

S.P.E.E.C.H.L.E.S.S.

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014. Don't expect everything from me... [HOWIFEEL]

Don't expect I while help you do everything when every time you request me.
I have my own work and so does you have your own work.
I only receive order from my leader or superior. and i only accept request from my colleague who is willing to help me when i request help from them. This is call Symbiosis. I don't accept parasite relationship.
So I you don't even care to help me when i have trouble, So don't expect me to help you when you have problem.
 

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013.Youngster nowdays are lucky and should be grateful to the "politician"

Kids nowdays should be grateful as been helped by this politician when they get good result but not offered any course by the government.
Because during my year, a lot of my friend get good result and didn't get any offer, when we try to appeal thru this politician, we been turn down and been accuse as arrogant because we have good result doesn't mean we must give you places in the local universities.
You must wondering whether what I say is true or not =-=

I would tell you that me and my friends who score Full A1 in SPM and my Junior score 3A n 1 B+ in STPM, the 3 of used doesn't been offered any course in the local university. But my friend doesn't give up and score another High CGPA in his STPM and finally get an offer by the local university in engineering course. but my junior who get 3A n 1B doesn't even get a place in accounting courses =_=
When we try to appeal on the politician party that represent the citizen, they just simply turn us down and claim "U get Full A so what, there is a lot of people get full A out there. You thought you the only one didnt get place in Local University. If everyone come find me, then i gonna be very very busy already."
I was thinking, it was the Party article claims to ask us the victim to seek help from them but my case was just simply turn down by the person who suppose to be helping me.
So well, it still a question why high scorer doesnt get any places in the local university while some average and poor scorer get place in the local university. the system of selecting candidate to get entry in local university is still remain a mystery.
**Btw if u really wanna enter local university, just try your luck on engineering courses because that the so far i know the easier get course for science student. (this just my opinion i dunno whether it was 100% truth or not)
Here is the article: http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2013/07/17/Not-good-enough-for-varsity-Top-scorers-appeal-cases-after-not-being-offered-any-courses.aspx

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012. Trust no one but yourself. [HOWIFEEL]

Another sensitive and sentimental post. It seems no matter where i go there would be some people that you can trust on them. Be it friends or colleagues, don't trust any of them totally. Never accept any unnecessary help from the people around you, as they will expect return from you afterwards and start taking advantages from you.
No matter how hard you try to join in the crowd, once they reject you. Try to be friendly to them but they just like meh and turn their back on me. So means I not good enough to join you guys? If that so fine, I just try to go solo and work alone.
So mean there will be a clear line between Colleague and Friend. I need to start learn how to choose which to tolerate with and which one to ignore. I have to clarified that not all my colleague are bad.  Most of them are very nice and helpful, it just some of them are the rotten apple. This have teach me to be smart and not to be careless on how to treat the people around me. People may be friend at the outside but enemy at the inside.
So precaution and safety measure have to be taken care seriously. I feel blessed that some of the senior still willing to teach me and help me.
let just forget all those negative, and start the day again with more positive energy. 

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011. New workplace, New environment, New life... What a new boring time =_= {HOWIFEEL]

OMG... it been almost 2-3 month since i have update my blog... Thanks to Nigel for reminding me the existence of my this little home.
As some of my friend have known, I have change job from Manufacturing Industry to Lab base. Now i have to move to Kampar Perak a small town with limited entertainment access. So yea i have to bear the consequences, but thanks to i still have a very slow Internet line,laptop and Gym to kill my boredom.
After left this small city for 2 years and now i have to re-adjusted myself once again here since everything was changed and old things have gone and new things have come.
The first most obvious thing is everything here at Kampar have become very expensive. Firstly i though that kampar food should be a lot cheaper than KL but then i found out the price only slightly cheaper than kl and Guess what The so called "Economic Mixed rice" have become EXTREMELY Expensive. Try to imagine i just take a big rice +potato+veggie+ few chunk of meatless curry chicken cost me rm 3.5 and the portion is so little. with rm3.5 i can eat a lunch with 1.5 time the amount of the food i pay at UTAR canteen. bloody hell money sucker. but it seems like other store was a lot cheaper compare to that particular Chinese mixed rice store.
So far the rest of the shop at old town still ok nothing much changes or should i say change a lot since a lot of new store have open =_=, Ochado,Domino pizza,tutti fruti and more. This kind of commercial franchise store have almost dominate the whole kampar. OMGOSH...
will be update more soon 

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010. Expressing Anger and Disappointment toward YOU!!!

So sorry for been so sensitive but I have already reach my limit. When something happen people tend to show those “I don’t care” attitude. When I was so nervous and trying to solve problem, but those SUPPOSE to incharge people show slacking attitude like nothing happen. So you don’t know how to solve it, then I need to help you solve it ar? TOTALLY fed up with all these rubbish idiots. FINE, you don’t want to care then I also don’t want to care. For what to talk more with this kind of people? Wasting my time and effort.  When I wanna spend time on maintaining the cleanliness and the condition of the process flow, this kind of rubbish show up. Even my superior also ignore and act like nothing big happen, slowly slowly la… u go ask this and this help you. When I go ask, ok  la u go ask this and this help you solve it. Things push here and there. At the end, no one wanna help me to solve it. Commitment n cooperation of a company, PUI….!!! Don’t make me laugh. This kind of joke also dare to say so proudly.

This is the reason why everyone is leaving the company and not tend to stay longer to fight along your side. Think back on how you treat your college n the future of your company. You will either save it and increase company value, or you going to drop the company value until it close down.

GOING TO SAY GOODBYE TO ALL THIS RUBBISH... JUST WAIT AND SEE!!!

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009. Happy 121212

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008.my confession of the day [HOWIFEEL]

People getting more and more funnier...
People just know how to take point on other people weaknesses and fault but not their own.
Before complaining and backstabbing about other people, think bout yourself first.
Say how people ill-treated your, try to use your brain to think, have you did the same thing to that person or even worse?

Stop blaming other people for so call become spy and report to me.
Dare to do it, dare to admit it. Instead of backstab me and not saying directly to me using the excuse of so called 'scare hurting my pride or stuff', did u realize u talk it at my back is even more hurtful than talking face to face to me especially when i know it in-directly from a third party.

every human have flaw so does you and me, before claiming yourself so prefect and other people are loser, take a break and think twice, who are the real loser.
Because heaven got eyes to see who is good and who is wrong, so does other people who surround you ^^

I'm Happy with who i'm, and believe on what i believe. If you think that i'm those kind of people believing rumor/gossip easily and hatting you for no reason. You are wrong!!!

Siapa makan cili, terasa la pedas nyer...("he who eats the chili will taste the heat/spiciness." )

you feel that way because you did something wrong and denying other people who revealing your mistake. and the so called STUBBORN and refuse to accept your mistake wont bring you anywhere but doom is going to find you oneday.

Stay chill, take a break and rewind back your memories to judge again what is good and what is wrong.

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007.Latest Addiction ^^ [VIDEO][HOWIFEEL]

my Latest Addiction... the Iron Heart Girl... Baek Ah Yeon 

She is the 2nd Runner-up from "KPOPSTAR" season 1 She really did have an Angelic voice... If you wanna listen to her new song, you are listening to it now... coz i have added up her 5 new song from her new debut album in my music box.
Below here are some of her performance during the competition.

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006.recently having Depression and Over Sensitive[HOWIFEEL]

Recently a lot of things is happening and it was indirectly affect my daily life and emotionally i feel unstable. My mom always told me that we cant stop problems and obstacles coming to us, but we can pray for that we can have the wisdom and courage to overcome and breakthrough all those negative things that coming forward to us. Well it seems i need to undergo anger and stress management courses...

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005. Project 55 for 55th Year of Malaysia Independence Day Celebration Concert [EVENT][VIDEO]

After almost 1month ++ and nearly to 2 month practice. Should say that we only have 10times of practices excluded Rehearsal and Full-dress Rehearsal at the performance venue. Kinda Proud of ourselves even though i can 100% say it was an AWESOME FLAWLESS performance, but overall most of the audience and the VVIP and VIP (government's minister and high ranked officer) have compliment our performance was the BEST during the whole concert. Let me briefly explain my performance, our group consist of 800++ performers. Age range from 13-35. and are from KL and Selangor. We represent Persatuan Soka Gakkai Malaysia for this performance.

創價會參與國慶慶典

（吉隆坡29日訊）馬來西亞創價學會（簡稱SGM）將在8月31日參與全國及各州所舉辦的55週年國慶日慶典。

該會22位會員將於國慶日當天上午參與在獨立廣場舉行的國慶日大遊行。

SGM約1千名青年也將參與當晚在武吉加里爾體育場舉行的55週年國慶日特別慶典，並呈現出青年的活力與高昂精神的團體操。此演出是由8千500名各族青年組成的大型文化匯演的一部份。

此外，SGM也受邀參與檳城、怡保、馬六甲、居鑾、關丹和文冬等地的國慶日慶祝活動。預計280位SGM成員將參與在各州的國慶活動。

（星洲日報）

创价学会受邀国庆日表演

（吉隆坡29日讯）马来西亚创价学会（SGM）將在8月31日参与全国及各州所举办的55週年国庆日庆典。

该会22位会员將于国庆日当天上午参与吉隆坡独立广场举行的国庆日大游行。

SGM约1000名青年也將参与国庆日晚间的特別庆典，在武吉加里尔国家体育馆表演呈现出青年的活力与高昂精神的团体操。

此演出是由8500名各族青年组成的大型文化匯演的一部分。首相拿督斯里纳吉、副首相丹斯里慕尤丁、內阁部长们、各国显要以及公眾人士等，预计10万人將云集在国家体育馆普天同庆。

此外，SGM也受邀参与檳城、怡保、马六甲、居鑾、关丹和文冬等地的国庆日庆祝活动。预计280名SGM成员將参与各州的国庆活动。

SGM会员曾参与各项由国家或地方政府主办的活动，如1998年第16届共和联邦运动会开幕仪式、繽纷马来西亚文化游行、国庆日庆典、大马运动会等，並曾经主办无数场大小型的书画展览、公眾讲座、文化演出、慈善活动等。

SGM也是首个获得2004年国家艺术奖之文化拥护奖的非政府组织，对SGM在文化领域的贡献作出肯定。更多有关SGM的详情和讯息，请瀏览SGM网站www.sgm.org.my。

东方日報

马来西亚创价学会参与全国及各州的55周年国庆

马来西亚创价学会（简称SGM）将在来临的8月31日参与全国及各州所举办的55周年国庆日庆典。

该会22位会员将于国庆日当天上午参与在首都吉隆坡独立广场举行的国庆日大游行。我国最高元首和元首后、首相及内阁部长、各国显要和贵宾们将出席此隆重的传统庆典。

SGM约一千名青年也将参与55周年国庆日晚间的特别庆典，在武吉加里尔国家体育馆表演呈现出青年的活力与高昂精神的团体操。此演出是由8千5百名各族青年组成的大型文化汇演的一部分。我国首相拿督斯里纳吉贤伉俪、副首相丹斯里慕尤汀贤伉俪、内阁部长们、各国显要以及公众人士等，预计十万人将云集在国家体育馆普天同庆。

此外，SGM也受邀参与槟城、怡保、马六甲、居銮、关丹和文冬等地的国庆日庆祝活动。预计280位SGM成员将参与在各州的国庆活动。

SGM是一个推广文化与教育以谋求社会和平与繁荣的非政府组织。成立于1984年的SGM在全国各州设有分会，会员们以日莲佛法为基础，主张尊重生命和慈悲宽容的精神，提倡世界和平及人类幸福，并且积极促进国家的繁荣与进步。SGM会员踊跃于各项由国家或地方政府主办的活动，如1998年第16届共和联邦运动会开幕仪式、缤纷马来西亚文化游行、国庆日庆典、大马运动会等，并曾经主办无数场大小型的书画展览、公众讲座、文化演出、慈善活动等。

SGM也是首个获得2004年国家艺术奖之文化拥护奖的非政府组织，是为政府对SGM在文化领域的贡献作出肯定。

更多有关SGM的详情和讯息，请浏览SGM网站 www.sgm.org.my。

媒体联络：
马来西亚创价学会公关部
谢国平
电话: 03-9075 6876/ 012-212 6761
电邮: sgmpro@sgm.org.my
网站: www.sgm.org.my

Broadcast from RTM Some thoughtful individuals record and sharing ^^ @credit to frankie soka @credit to Squeeksun @credit to  lim boon yong Thanks for Saimatkong for the complete video link and Newspaper photo and article ^^

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004. Bad day and glad that there is still people give me strength to overcome all the obstacle [HOWIFEEL]

"Treat Other people like how you want people to treat you, Respect people like how you want people to respect you, Don't try to be back stab and hurt other people for your own selfishness Don't be so greedy and stubborn just for your own and not sharing with others, Think twice or even thrice before making any decision or action." @quote: my senior XD
People say the world is unfair, but for me the world is quite fair,Why? People may not seen it because there is something we call karma cycle, you may win and enjoy everything like you wanted but can you make sure it was permanent? They way you hurt me and snatch away my happiness from me, can you guarantee other people will not do the same to you and wouldn't they treat you even worse then how you treat me? you may not feel anything cause the karma cycle will not just moving around you as bad karma can be transfer to your love one like you parent, your children or even your spouse. They way how you hurt other people in order to gain your own satisfaction, people may do it back to your spouse,your children or even your parent. sometimes it would be even worse then what you did to other people.
Some people even told me, that will all those bad things that you have done, no matter how religious you are but your heart was still so polluted, you wont be happy even when you reach nirvana. Some said that the karma may even bring forward to your next life. so mean your next life you will be treat by other people like how you treat other people in the present life. scary right? but that the truth.
So be considerate and tolerate with everything, Don't simply threaten other people or hurt other people in other to gain your own satisfaction... coz it not worth it. Why? coz that doesn't called ABSOLUTE HAPPINESS or ABSOLUTE VICTORY.

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003.how to save a large sum of money? [HOWIFEEL]

WG msia concert is back... And yeah, need to spend money again..huhuhu...

and from this picture, plan to take either A3,A4,B5, or B6... but the problem is money TT^TT i wish that i win lottery and have a lot of money...

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002.DIE HARD on choosing such nice beat song but hard,fast and tricky step...[HOWIFEEL]

I really challenge myself to the max on choosing and try to perform these fast, tricky and damn HARD dance step song =_=
LOL...u all should be like LMAO-ing of ROFL-ing...
but not kidding i'm self practicing this song and we gonna follow those fast track song... currently only have problem on  1) Sistar So Cool - main chorus part 2)Wonder Girls Nobody - Rap part while for the rest i think i mastered already XD

buahahaha...gangnam style le XD well hope got ppl record my perf then upload it lo XD

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001. Try To Challenge my PATIENCE? U R So DEAD [CURSING]

"If you not respecting me, THAT FINE!!! I CAN BARE WITH IT.
But if you ever DARE to DISRESPECT my MUM, WAIT FOR ME TO DEAL WITH YOU!!!
I WONT BE ABLE TO BARE TO SOME RUDE PEOPLE FOR NOT RESPECTING MY PARENTS ESPECIALLY MY MUM!
JUST WAIT and see, for trying to challenge my patience."
First is those inconsiderate and SELFISH People who only think bout their OWN convenient and their OWN-SELF without thinking about convenient of other people around them. Well, no need to say more, just see the way people treat this kind of brat, no wonder till now still got people dun like or even critic the attitude of this kind of people..
Second is the way people disrespect some one you respect the most which is my PARENTS! I don't care what kind of rubbish and how u try to act like a BITCH and treat me like a biatch, but is you dare to lay a finger on my parent with this kind of attitude in front of my eyes, you better watch out because i believe in karma cycle and karma reincarnation on the next life or you future. You dare to do this kind of BAD thing and this kind of BAD KARMA will return to you in a double, triple or even quadruple fold. JUST WAIT AND SEE!!!

Mood : PISS OFF
  

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