What does it take?

what does it take to be a good student, a responsible student and a reliable student?
such a random though pop in my head a few minute ago..
and i dunno how to answer it =_=
what will the world will turn into if i still continue as the person i'm right now.

i change to follow the surrounding changes
or
the surround changing according to my changes?
sometimes i feel so lost in myself =_=

how dumb was i? sometimes feeling need somebody to talk to but myself act so tough and look like nothing happen make my friends ignore me and i don't even have the guts to talk with my friends. my friends that willing to help me but why? because my stupid self choose to not telling them my problem. everything that happen to me right now is what i choose to be and i will not blame other people include my friends. Awkward was a normal feeling that will arouse when u wanna share or seeking advice from some one your know not just mentally but emotionally...to simplify it is the people that you know in real life and get along with...i just don't have the gut to tell them... People use to say that voice out your worries and problem with your internet friends can overcome the awkwardness between each other and it can let you release your stress easier... but lately i found that every website i go, it seems so....quiet =_= it seems like there isn't someone to share my problem and worries or even a consultant to give me advice. well last time i use to be a person that give advice and encouragement to my internet friends but right now i wanna find a person that like the old me that can give a piece of golden advice and encouragement to boost up my day... but it seems right now is not the season yet =.= i don't feel like this people will appear as soon as i predicted..

well i think i just have to struggle myself until the end of my worries or until my i have the gut to voice out my feeling to my friends and asking a piece of wise advice from them